Edge Coach—First Pages: What Story Coaches Look For

As a Fictionary Certified StoryCoach Editor, I often see beginning novelists struggle with their opening pages. Today, let’s explore what makes those crucial first pages work—and what might be holding yours back.

Let’s start with an example:

Weak Opening: “Sarah Jones had always loved the ocean. Growing up in coastal Maine, she spent summers watching waves crash against rocky shores while dreaming of adventure.” Why it doesn’t work: Background instead of story

Strong Opening: “Sarah’s hand trembled as she gripped the ship’s radio. Three hours into her first solo sailing trip, and the storm warnings changed everything.” Why it works: Character in action, immediate tension

Key Elements Story Coaches Evaluate:

1. Opening Hook

• Does your first sentence create curiosity?
• Are readers immediately engaged?
• Does something happen or change? Common Issue: Starting with background instead of story momentum

2. Point of View (POV)

• Is your viewpoint character clear?
• Are we grounded in their perspective?
• Do we experience the scene through their senses? Common Issue: Shifting perspectives or distant narration

3. Character Introduction

• Do we meet your protagonist in action?
• Are they facing a challenge or decision?
• Do readers have a reason to care? Common Issue: Character descriptions without purpose

4. Story Question

• What makes readers wonder what happens next?
• Which story questions emerge naturally?
• Is there clear tension or conflict? Common Issue: No compelling reason to turn the page

FICTIONARY KEY ELEMENTS: Using Fictionary’s storytelling elements, I evaluate:

1. Opening Scene Function

• Introduces main character
• Establishes tone
• Sets story in motion
• Creates story questions

2. Scene Entry Point

• Character doing something
• Clear setting anchors
• Immediate conflict
• Sensory details

3. Scene Tension

• External pressure
• Internal conflict
• Time constraints
• Stakes matter

4. Character Goal

• Clear motivation
• Visible actions
• Specific obstacle
• Meaningful outcome

EVALUATION EXERCISE:

1. Read your first page aloud
2. Mark with different colors:
   • Character actions (blue)
   • Background info (red)
   • Dialogue (green)
   • Setting details (yellow)
   • Internal thoughts (purple)

Analysis Questions:

• Which color dominates?
• Where does true story action begin?
• When do readers first care?
• What makes them want more?

Coming Soon: Watch for more professional editing insights in future Edge Coach posts, where we’ll explore:

• Transforming weak openings
• Layering in background naturally
• Building organic tension
• Creating compelling hooks

Need help evaluating your first pages now? Schedule a First Chapter Focus session to get professional guidance on starting your novel strong.

You’re invited to schedule a consultation.

Note: If this is your first appointment, you do not have to pay. I offer a FREE—initial consultation.