Tag: FirstPages

Edge Coach—First Pages: What Story Coaches Look For

As a Fictionary Certified StoryCoach Editor, I often see beginning novelists struggle with their opening pages. Today, let’s explore what makes those crucial first pages work—and what might be holding yours back.

Let’s start with an example:

Weak Opening: “Sarah Jones had always loved the ocean. Growing up in coastal Maine, she spent summers watching waves crash against rocky shores while dreaming of adventure.” Why it doesn’t work: Background instead of story

Strong Opening: “Sarah’s hand trembled as she gripped the ship’s radio. Three hours into her first solo sailing trip, and the storm warnings changed everything.” Why it works: Character in action, immediate tension

Key Elements Story Coaches Evaluate:

  1. Opening Hook
  • Does your first sentence create curiosity?
  • Are readers immediately engaged?
  • Does something happen or change? Common Issue: Starting with background instead of story momentum
  1. Point of View (POV)
  • Is your viewpoint character clear?
  • Are we grounded in their perspective?
  • Do we experience the scene through their senses? Common Issue: Shifting perspectives or distant narration
  1. Character Introduction
  • Do we meet your protagonist in action?
  • Are they facing a challenge or decision?
  • Do readers have a reason to care? Common Issue: Character descriptions without purpose
  1. Story Question
  • What makes readers wonder what happens next?
  • Which story questions emerge naturally?
  • Is there clear tension or conflict? Common Issue: No compelling reason to turn the page

FICTIONARY KEY ELEMENTS: Using Fictionary’s storytelling elements, I evaluate:

  1. Opening Scene Function
  • Introduces main character
  • Establishes tone
  • Sets story in motion
  • Creates story questions
  1. Scene Entry Point
  • Character doing something
  • Clear setting anchors
  • Immediate conflict
  • Sensory details
  1. Scene Tension
  • External pressure
  • Internal conflict
  • Time constraints
  • Stakes matter
  1. Character Goal
  • Clear motivation
  • Visible actions
  • Specific obstacle
  • Meaningful outcome

EVALUATION EXERCISE:

  1. Read your first page aloud
  2. Mark with different colors:
    • Character actions (blue)
    • Background info (red)
    • Dialogue (green)
    • Setting details (yellow)
    • Internal thoughts (purple)

Analysis Questions:

  • Which color dominates?
  • Where does true story action begin?
  • When do readers first care?
  • What makes them want more?

Coming Soon: Watch for more professional editing insights in future Edge Coach posts, where we’ll explore:

  • Transforming weak openings
  • Layering in background naturally
  • Building organic tension
  • Creating compelling hooks

Need help evaluating your first pages now? Schedule a First Chapter Focus session to get professional guidance on starting your novel strong.

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Note: If this is your first appointment, you do not have to pay. I offer a FREE—initial consultation.