The primary aim of the "Novel Excerpts" blog category is to showcase my creative writing, specifically from the novels I've written. Hopefully, these posts will provide a glimpse into my storytelling style, themes, and narrative skills. It's an opportunity to share my artistic expressions and the worlds I've created through my novels.

The Boaz Secrets, written in 2018, is my third novel. I'll post a chapter a day over the next few weeks.

Book Blurb

Fifteen year-old Matt Benson moves with Robert, his widowed father, to Boaz, Alabama for one year as Robert conducts research on Southern Baptist Fundamentalism.  Robert, a professor of Bible History and new Testament Theology at the University of Chicago’s Divinity School enlists Matt to assist him as an undercover agent at First Baptist Church of Christ.  Matt’s job is to befriend the most active young person in the Church’s youth group and learn the heart and mind of teenagers growing up as fundamentalist Southern Baptists.

Olivia Tillman is the fourteen year old daughter of Betty and Walter Tillman.  He is the pastor of First Baptist Church of Christ.  Robert and Matt move to Boaz in June 1970, and before high school begins in mid-August, Matt and Olivia become fast friends.   Olivia’s life is centered around her faith, her family, and her friends.  She is struck with Matt and his doubts and vows to win him to Christ.  Over the next year, Matt and Olivia’s relationship blossoms into more than a teenage romance, despite their different religious beliefs. 

June 1971 and Matt’s return to Chicago comes too quickly, but the two teenagers vow to never lose what they have, even promising to reunite at college in three years after Olivia graduates from Boaz High School.

The Boaz Secrets is told from the perspective of past and present.  The story alternates between 1970-1971, and 2017-2018.  After Matt left Boaz in June 1971, life happened and Olivia and Matt’s plans fell apart.  However, in December 2017, their lives crossed again, almost miraculously, and they have a month in Boaz to catch up on forty-six years of being apart.  They attempt to discover whether their teenage love can be rekindled and transformed into an adult romance even though Matt is 63 and Olivia is 61.

In 2017, Olivia and Matt are quick to learn they are vastly different people than they were as fifteen and sixteen year old teenagers– especially, when it comes to religion and faith.  Will these religious differences unite them?  The real issue is the secret Olivia has kept.  Will Matt’s discovery destroy any chance he and Olivia have of rekindling their teenage relationship?

Chapter 23

March 1971

“I already have other plans.”  Olivia had told me while we sat in our favorite beanbag chairs at the Lighthouse last Saturday afternoon.  I had finally gotten up my courage to ask her to the annual Valentine’s dance.  I had falsely believed she had given me an open invitation earlier during the conversation when she said that she enjoyed being with me and how she felt so free to share her innermost thoughts.  In response to her total rejection I had blurted out, “I guess I will go with Carol Walker.”  It was so stupid of me.

“Have you asked her?”  Olivia had asked.  No doubt our relationship had sunk as low as it could go.  This conversation was taking on a brother-sister aura.

“She asked me, but I turned her down.  I guess I let my imagination get away with me.”

“Why don’t you call her?  Ask her?  She might not have a date yet.  Carol is a sweet girl, a good girl.  Ya’ll will be a good match.”  Olivia just kept on spitting out her sickening sister sayings.

“I think I will just stay at home.”  Dad and I might watch TV.  I can’t dance anyway.”

“Can I tell you the truth?”  Olivia said.

“I thought you always were truthful.”

“Seriously, I wish I could go with you.  I have never been on a real date.  Friday night has been planned for me.  Dad has had this rule for years that I couldn’t start dating until I was 15 and then only under close supervision.  I won’t be 15 until May.  Wade came to my rescue, sort of, telling Dad that all ninth-grade girls will be at the dance and most of them will have a date.  Dad compromised and, with Wade’s help, arranged for me to go with John.  As you now know, it’s not really a date.  That’s why I said I already have other plans.” 

For the next thirty minutes, sitting in our beanbag chairs, I surrendered and slithered into the brother role.  I gave up hope that I would ever be a real boyfriend to Olivia.  Some things are worth sacrificing for.  I had spent nearly six months around John Ericson and the other four members of the Flaming Five, including most every day at school lunch.  The only consolation I could provide my mind was that to effectively do my undercover work I had to experience all sides of the youth that comprised First Baptist’s youth group.  I knew all John Ericson thought about was sex.  But, I had to admit, he could compete with the best Hollywood actors.  John was the master of deception.  He had Pastor Walter totally fooled.

I had told Olivia that she should be careful around John, that he might try to take advantage of her.  I was surprised that she said, “John has admitted to me that he made a mistake with Jessie Dawson.”

“He told you about that?”  I was flabbergasted.  John and Olivia had talked about him having sex with the delightful Dawson?

“John struggles with his faith.  Down deep he is more committed to Christ than virtually anyone in our group.  He just has a weakness for girls.”  I couldn’t believe how gullible Olivia truly was.

“And, you think you are protected?  What makes you think he won’t try something with you?  You are playing with fire here, don’t you know?”  I literally hated what was happening.  To Olivia.  And, probably just as much to me.  There was no way that I would ever be anything more to Olivia than a caring brother.

“John and I are best of friends.  He is a spitting image of Wade.  I’ve grown up around the two of them.  And, of course, with Fred, James, and Randall.

When John and his four friends came into the Lighthouse I got up and left.  I didn’t think I could stomach any more of John Ericson for one afternoon.

That night, Saturday night, I did call Carol Walker.  She agreed to go with me but said that her father would drop us off at the high school and pick us up afterwards.  Here I was, an eleventh grader, one with his own set of wheels, and I was taking a ninth grader on her first date.  Maybe her father would just stay with us the whole evening.  It would probably be more fun.

If I hadn’t been so dumbstruck by Olivia, I would have liked Carol Walker.  She was a smart, sweet, kind, and gorgeous brunette that wasn’t at all shy like myself.  We walked into the high school lunch room.  Her with her ample cleavage on display, holding my hand, with head held high.  I think she was proud to be with me.  I had a good time.  For most of the night.  Carol was funny and could dance like a pro.  She taught me more about dancing than I thought possible. 

I had seen Olivia and the tall John Ericson once during an intermission when the lights came on.  She too was gorgeous and seemed to be her normal self, talking to everyone around her.  I was a little encouraged when it appeared that she wasn’t paying John much mind.  Maybe theirs wasn’t a date after all.

This changed for the worse during the first song after the crowning of this year’s Valentine Queen.  As always, the winning girl was a Senior.  Deidre Cawley, according to Carol, was a sure win since she had for years participated in beauty contests and aspired to be a professional model.  As usual, I was confused, thinking this was just high school where the teacher’s voted, and not an event where the selection system was managed and controlled by some international accounting firm.

During that song, as fate would have it, Olivia and John were well within eyesight.  It was a slow dance, a song, I think, by Elvis.  I should have been concentrating on the lovely Carol who was doing an admirable job of swaying us towards what otherwise would trigger the types of thoughts I, so far, had kept at bay.  John and Olivia were also closely embraced and engaged in the same sort of swaying.  I somehow managed to steer Carol and me a little closer.  I caught a glimpse of John whispering something into Olivia’s ear.  Then, my world, my young, seemingly predictable and controlled world ended.  I had the perfect view.  John’s right hand slipped down Olivia’s back.  It didn’t stop, as it should.  It was like time stood still.  As John moved his hand down beyond Olivia’s back and approaching the center of her generous buttocks, I lost it.  Gently at first, I pushed Carol to the side.  Less gently, I ran towards Olivia, she was in trouble.  Before I could think any counter thoughts my right hand struck John’s head just behind his right ear.  I hit him so hard that he fell to the dance floor.  But, he didn’t stay down.  I only remember one blow.  He stood up, walked towards me and punched me with a left hook.  I went down hard.  I didn’t get up.  Later, Ryan told me that before two chaperons, Mr. Jackson and Mr. Hayes, reached the scene, John kicked me in the side two times.

The first thing I remember was standing outside in the high school parking lot with Ryan.  He told me that Carol’s dad had just left with her and that my Dad was on the way.  Ryan said, “Benson, to be so damn smart, you just did the most stupid thing imaginable.  No one ever opposes a member of the Flaming Five.  Your ass is grass.”

At 11:00 a.m. I awoke to Dad shaking my shoulder.  I was asleep, dreaming about being in a boxing ring with a giant octopus.  What long arms it had.  “Matt, wake up, you have a phone call.  I think it is Olivia.”

“Hello.”

“Matt, this is Olivia.  Are you okay?”

“Couldn’t be better.  My world is now perfect.”  I said always depending on sarcasm to blunt the effects of reality.

“I wanted to thank you.  It was awfully brave of you to come to my rescue.”  Olivia said as kind and humble as I had ever heard her.

“Olivia, it’s killing me to think that John Ericson is trying to ruin your life.  I know it’s not really any of my business, but I care about you and don’t seem to be able to manage myself when it comes to you.”

“Matt, that’s the thing I cannot figure out about you.  You clearly are not a Christian, but you act more like Jesus than any boy I know.  Are you sure you are not keeping a big secret from me?”  Olivia asked.

“Are you trying to be funny.  I’m not any better than anyone else.  My dear departed mother taught me the importance of being a gentleman.  Of course, this doesn’t mean I’m not human.  I fight the same temptations that I suspect most every other teenage boy does.”

“I suspect I know what you’re talking about.  There is a part of me that wants to play out my fantasies but then I fight back and pray that Jesus will give me the strength to run from temptation, to avoid places and people who cause me to stumble in my thinking.” 

When Olivia said she had to go I was again confused.  Why had she called?  It seemed our conversation wasn’t simply a brother-sister talk.  It was more like we were grown-ups with a ton more wisdom than we really had.  The best thing about the relationship that was developing between Olivia and me, whatever it was, was the growing openness we shared.  I was learning something new about myself.  I gained confidence and perspective from mine and Olivia’s talks.  Even though I didn’t know much about physical intimacy, although there was that one kiss with Olivia on her couch, I was learning there was another type of intimacy, that developed from sharing my innermost thoughts with the most important person in my life.  No doubt Olivia didn’t know, but I knew she was my once in life love.

The primary aim of the "Novel Excerpts" blog category is to showcase my creative writing, specifically from the novels I've written. Hopefully, these posts will provide a glimpse into my storytelling style, themes, and narrative skills. It's an opportunity to share my artistic expressions and the worlds I've created through my novels.

The Boaz Secrets, written in 2018, is my third novel. I'll post a chapter a day over the next few weeks.

Book Blurb

Fifteen year-old Matt Benson moves with Robert, his widowed father, to Boaz, Alabama for one year as Robert conducts research on Southern Baptist Fundamentalism.  Robert, a professor of Bible History and new Testament Theology at the University of Chicago’s Divinity School enlists Matt to assist him as an undercover agent at First Baptist Church of Christ.  Matt’s job is to befriend the most active young person in the Church’s youth group and learn the heart and mind of teenagers growing up as fundamentalist Southern Baptists.

Olivia Tillman is the fourteen year old daughter of Betty and Walter Tillman.  He is the pastor of First Baptist Church of Christ.  Robert and Matt move to Boaz in June 1970, and before high school begins in mid-August, Matt and Olivia become fast friends.   Olivia’s life is centered around her faith, her family, and her friends.  She is struck with Matt and his doubts and vows to win him to Christ.  Over the next year, Matt and Olivia’s relationship blossoms into more than a teenage romance, despite their different religious beliefs. 

June 1971 and Matt’s return to Chicago comes too quickly, but the two teenagers vow to never lose what they have, even promising to reunite at college in three years after Olivia graduates from Boaz High School.

The Boaz Secrets is told from the perspective of past and present.  The story alternates between 1970-1971, and 2017-2018.  After Matt left Boaz in June 1971, life happened and Olivia and Matt’s plans fell apart.  However, in December 2017, their lives crossed again, almost miraculously, and they have a month in Boaz to catch up on forty-six years of being apart.  They attempt to discover whether their teenage love can be rekindled and transformed into an adult romance even though Matt is 63 and Olivia is 61.

In 2017, Olivia and Matt are quick to learn they are vastly different people than they were as fifteen and sixteen year old teenagers– especially, when it comes to religion and faith.  Will these religious differences unite them?  The real issue is the secret Olivia has kept.  Will Matt’s discovery destroy any chance he and Olivia have of rekindling their teenage relationship?

Chapter 22

December 20, 2017

I had wanted to stay all night at Warren’s with Olivia.  At one point, she had invited me but we both soon recognized it wasn’t the best idea acknowledging that it was the perfect fodder for triggering small town gossip.  Someone would walk by and see-through these walls.  Besides, it wasn’t fair on Warren.  He was going through enough right now trying to come to terms with the likely prison terms of both his father and grandfather.  Finally, a little before midnight, I tried to convince Olivia to join me at 118 College Avenue and share my cozy sleeping bag for the rest of the night.

I’m glad she had declined my invitation.  I had purposely not checked my email until I had left Olivia alone at Warren’s.  As soon as I walked in and sat down in one of my beanbag chairs, my afternoon and evening with Olivia seemed to be just a fairy tale.  Jerry’s email contained only three words, ‘not a match.’  My first thoughts centered on how Jerry could have made a mistake.  I had convinced myself that John and Paul were my biological children.  Once I overcame the shock of these three words my mind realized that it was highly unlikely Jerry was wrong.  He simply didn’t make mistakes like this in the lab.  What hurt more than anything was to think that Olivia was intentionally lying to me.  She surely didn’t know that I wasn’t the father of her two children.  Of course, she knew that she had had sex with John, I now assumed, no, I now knew he was the father, but she honestly believed that I had gotten her pregnant the night before Dad and I left in June 1971.  It was almost a miracle if one believed in miracles.

I hadn’t slept much last night after reading Jerry’s email.  At six a.m., I had finally gotten up from my sleeping bag feeling the worst I had ever felt.  It was a hundred times worse than any time I had ever woken up after having a horrible dream.  This was no dream.  To show how much I had doubted that I was John and Paul’s father, I hadn’t thought much at all about what my next move would be if my DNA and theirs had not matched.  It didn’t take long to determine what I had to do.  John and Paul’s DNA would match their father’s, John Ericson.  As it would Danny Ericson’s.  I was glad that I had attended Warren and Tiffany’s little get-together for Judith Ericson and Randi Radford.  It was there I learned that Judith and John had two children, Danny and Bridget, and that Danny still lived in town, continuing to carry on the hundred-plus year old family real estate business.  It was easy to determine what I had to do.  What was difficult was figuring out a way to obtain a good sample of Danny’s DNA.

I was lucky Danny was in town and available.  I had called Ericson Real Estate & Development.  The receptionist had told me he was out of the office showing a house in the Pebblebrook Subdivision.  She gave me Danny’s cell phone number.  Within fifteen minutes, he had returned my call.  I repeated my story and added that I knew his mother and had spent some time with her at Warren’s a few nights ago.  He was eager to meet me.  I suggested we meet at McDonald’s for coffee and to discuss what exactly I was looking for and then, per his recommendation, go house hunting.  My plan worked like a charm.  We sat and drank coffee and before we left to see a lodge-type property at the top of Skyhaven Drive, he retired to the bathroom leaving his cup at our table.  I had brought my iPad in a small duffle bag and easily hide Danny’s coffee cup inside.  When he returned, he seemed to look for his cup but was easily satisfied when I told him I had thrown them away.  I endured the next two hours looking at five different houses, but it wasn’t easy.  It seemed all Danny wanted to talk about was his father.  To Danny, there was no greater man that John Ericson.  I didn’t attempt to dissuade him.  At 4:15 p.m., I purchased a shipping box at the Boaz Post Office and slid inside Danny’s coffee cup secure in my zip lock evidence bag.  Fortunately, the U.S. Postal Service, for $29.99, would deliver my package to Jerry Coyne at the University of Chicago, before noon tomorrow.

I left the Post Office and headed back to College Avenue.  All afternoon I had ignored calls from Olivia.  I now had five missed calls.  I was in no mood to talk but I knew I had to act as though everything was as cozy between us as it was when I left her at Warren’s late last night.  She answered my call on the first ring.  “I’ve been worried about you.  Are you okay?”  Hearing her voice made me melt.  So, did my big project.  It seemed, at least in that moment, it was totally irrelevant who was the father of John and Paul Cummins.  Her words, the sound from her words, drew my mind and heart into her arms.  I realized I was treading on thin ice.  If I took one misstep and gave Olivia the impression that I was investigating her, that I didn’t believe her story about John and Paul, she and I would likely be over.  I would never have a chance to be with her as a couple, as hopefully, a married couple.  This last thought confirmed that I was losing it. 

I shared with her my time with Danny Ericson.  It was a plausible story, one she should easily buy into.  “These days back in Boaz have convinced me I want to return someday after I retire.  I decided that if I owned some real estate here that it would lock down my decision.”

“Matt, can I ask you something very personal?”  I had no clue what Olivia was going to ask.

“As always, I’m an open book.”  I said realizing that I could lie with the best of them.

“Did your house hunting have anything to do with, well, last night?”

“Maybe.”  I wanted to sound mysterious.

“I have to admit that you are all I’ve thought about since you left last night.  I know things have happened rather quickly since we both got into town, but it feels so right.  It’s like we are meant to be together.  I think it has always been that way.  If only I hadn’t so screwed up our lives.”   Olivia sounded so believable.  But, was she?

“Let’s continue our conversation over dinner.  How about the Cracker Barrel in Guntersville?”  I said trying hard to convince Olivia I had no concerns about her and us.

“Perfect timing.  I have been craving their turnip greens and cornbread all day.”

“Ellie Mae, I’ll pick you up at 6:00.”

Olivia responded in her best Southern drawl.  “Well, I’ll be.”

I walked inside and went to the kitchen for a glass of water.  I stood by the kitchen sink looking out over the small back yard.  It was here, for over a year, that Dad and I had been the closest.  He had always been extremely busy, with his research project and teaching at Snead.  For a few minutes every night, right after dinner, was his time to question me about my day and what I was learning from Olivia and others, including Brother Randy in the youth group.  One conversation now came to mind.  I had told Dad that I had detected what I called the ‘lying syndrome.’  I had told him that many of the kids, especially the Flaming Five, were masters at deception and lying.  I had described how at lunch and at other times I was with them, and when neither Brother Randy or any other adult was around, they were as crude and filthy as someone who had never darkened the doors of a church.  I had said it seemed they lived a double life.  They knew exactly how to play the church game.  It was as though they fully believed the Christian story, bought fully into Jesus as savior but, had no trouble at all acting out against all that was honorable.  Dad had said that studies had shown that it was natural for humans to always put their own interests first.  It was built in, an evolutionary trait, that helped perpetuate the species.  He said that although die-hard Jesus followers deeply believed they were surrendered to Christ, that when they were faced with a conflicting issue, often something their natural selves wanted with a passion, they categorized their conduct.  Dad had used the example of a young girl, deeply religious, how she would find a way to rationalize her sexual behavior with her boyfriend.  She, if she is sufficiently tempted, will break her vows to God just to please and keep her male friend, especially if he is telling her that he loves her.  I never will forget what Dad had said, “when you peel back all the layers of the Christian onion, you don’t find much difference between the conduct of Christians and non-Christians.  All humans are just animals dressed up in thin clothes and fragile ideas that easily dissolve when confronted with life-altering choices.”

When I left to go pick up Olivia I still had no clue as to why I had remembered this conversation.  It didn’t make much sense.  Not in the seventies and not even now.

The primary aim of the "Novel Excerpts" blog category is to showcase my creative writing, specifically from the novels I've written. Hopefully, these posts will provide a glimpse into my storytelling style, themes, and narrative skills. It's an opportunity to share my artistic expressions and the worlds I've created through my novels.

The Boaz Secrets, written in 2018, is my third novel. I'll post a chapter a day over the next few weeks.

Book Blurb

Fifteen year-old Matt Benson moves with Robert, his widowed father, to Boaz, Alabama for one year as Robert conducts research on Southern Baptist Fundamentalism.  Robert, a professor of Bible History and new Testament Theology at the University of Chicago’s Divinity School enlists Matt to assist him as an undercover agent at First Baptist Church of Christ.  Matt’s job is to befriend the most active young person in the Church’s youth group and learn the heart and mind of teenagers growing up as fundamentalist Southern Baptists.

Olivia Tillman is the fourteen year old daughter of Betty and Walter Tillman.  He is the pastor of First Baptist Church of Christ.  Robert and Matt move to Boaz in June 1970, and before high school begins in mid-August, Matt and Olivia become fast friends.   Olivia’s life is centered around her faith, her family, and her friends.  She is struck with Matt and his doubts and vows to win him to Christ.  Over the next year, Matt and Olivia’s relationship blossoms into more than a teenage romance, despite their different religious beliefs. 

June 1971 and Matt’s return to Chicago comes too quickly, but the two teenagers vow to never lose what they have, even promising to reunite at college in three years after Olivia graduates from Boaz High School.

The Boaz Secrets is told from the perspective of past and present.  The story alternates between 1970-1971, and 2017-2018.  After Matt left Boaz in June 1971, life happened and Olivia and Matt’s plans fell apart.  However, in December 2017, their lives crossed again, almost miraculously, and they have a month in Boaz to catch up on forty-six years of being apart.  They attempt to discover whether their teenage love can be rekindled and transformed into an adult romance even though Matt is 63 and Olivia is 61.

In 2017, Olivia and Matt are quick to learn they are vastly different people than they were as fifteen and sixteen year old teenagers– especially, when it comes to religion and faith.  Will these religious differences unite them?  The real issue is the secret Olivia has kept.  Will Matt’s discovery destroy any chance he and Olivia have of rekindling their teenage relationship?

Chapter 21

February 1971

January had been the worst month for me in Alabama so far.  Two giant snowstorms had disrupted every aspect of my normal routine.  And, everyone else’s around me.  The City of Boaz was poorly equipped to deal with over twenty inches of snow.  Unlike in Chicago, where a snowstorm is little different than a summer rain, in Boaz, everything came to a virtual halt.  During the middle of the second week and then again at the end of the third week, school had been dismissed seven days on straight.  First Baptist Church of Christ held no services for what seemed like two weeks.  The Wednesday night service before the second big storm wasn’t normal at all.  Olivia was mysteriously absent. 

It was hard to believe that over seven months had passed since Dad and I had arrived in Boaz.  In a little over four more months we would be back at home, and I would be making pizzas for the summer at Papa-Mama’s and hanging out with my three amigos.  That part I looked forward to, but I was already starting to worry how I would cope with being separated from Olivia.  I had to take Dad’s advice, ‘live one day at a time.  If you spend too much time hoping or worrying about the future, you will miss out on the here and now and every wonderful detail offering themselves to you as life-altering memories.’  It made sense and it was ludicrous at the same time.  In one-way Dad was correct, my time was limited here in Boaz and I needed to enjoy every day.

The two giant snowstorms had played havoc with the High School’s basketball schedule.  It was now the first week into February and the regular season still had two more games before the County Tournament.  Tonight, Boaz was playing Albertville.  It was an out-of-town game.  Dad let me drive but as usual, made me promise that I would have a buddy come along.  He always felt it was safer to travel in pairs.  Ryan Grantham and I had become friends during the youth group’s trip to Gatlinburg over the Christmas holidays.  I had known him since my first visit to First Baptist Church of Christ last June.  His father, Peter Grantham, was the Associate Pastor.  Ryan and I had always been cordial to each other at church but never hung out.  During the Tennessee trip, we shared living quarters and for the first time had really talked.  I was surprised that he was a closet atheist.  We shared many of the same views when it came to life, love, and the supernatural.

I had shared a few of my thoughts concerning Olivia with Ryan.  For some reason I knew I could trust him.  Ever since the first of the year, when Olivia was selected as one of the B team cheerleaders, I had been her number one fan.  I had attended every B team football game on Tuesday nights, whether they were at the Boaz Football Stadium or out of town.  I also hadn’t missed a single in-town B team basketball game. 

Ryan and I were sitting in the stands watching the B team warm up and all I could think about was how right I had been concerning the one and only kiss between Olivia and me.  That was over a month ago.  She had initiated it because she was out of her mind in grief.  The trauma of the horrible car wreck that had killed four of her friends, two, which were classmates of mine, had caused her to do something that she would never have done in her right mind.  All during January I had fought this beast.  Olivia didn’t care about me as a boyfriend.  This hadn’t meant we didn’t remain friends.  But, it was all confined to church, mostly our time during youth group, both in the church basement and at the Lighthouse. There, she was friendly and even took time when she could to sit and talk.  It was a different story at school.  In the only class we shared, Poetry, she was aloof.  I think she was faking her attention and interest in whatever Mr. Johnson was saying.  As I was watching Olivia and the other cheerleaders present another routine to gel up the crowd Ryan nudged me.

“Jesse Dawson does the perfect splits.  Don’t you think?”

I almost didn’t hear him until he repeated his statement but added, “I bet she can thank Ericson for that.”

“Grantham, what the heck are you talking about?  You’ve got to get over this crush you have on the delightful Dawson.”  I said, barely giving Ryan any attention.  It was Olivia that had my heart, and every second of my gaze.

“Benson, you are the smartest guy in school, yet you can be so out of touch.  It’s like you hear only what you want to hear.”  Ryan said spilling half his popcorn on the empty bench in front of us.

I heard him.  I also knew Ryan was a straight A student with the highest GPA of anyone in high school.  Rumor was he had almost a photographic memory.   Even though I had heard him I repeated, “what’d you say?”

“You are an even worse comedian.  Listen, rumor is Ericson has been banging little Jesse Dawson for months now.  But, no more.  Her mama put a stop to their dating.  Seems like Jesse thought she was pregnant.  I guess Romeo John will have to move on and find him another innocent Juliet.”

“This is why I stay away from rumors.  That’s all most of them are.  There’s no truth in them.  You should try ignoring them.”  I said, now worried about Olivia.  If what Ryan was saying was true, then she could be vulnerable.  There was no doubt he was aggressive and manipulative.

“I admit a lot, maybe most of the rumors that fly around school are simply made up crap, but I’m darn sure this one is true.  Rita, you know my little sister, is good friends with Tesse, Jesse’s twin.  Tesse told Rita that Jesse had all the fun and had asked Rita what was wrong with her.  Tesse was more worried about not being attractive enough, not having someone like John as her boyfriend, than she was about the trouble Jesse was into.  Tesse said that Jesse and John had been going at it since last October.”    

The Aggie B team walloped Boaz but our A team won in a squeaker.  As fate would have it, John Ericson was high scorer for both teams with thirty-six points.  As Ryan and I made our way off the bleachers and onto the gym floor, I regretted looking for Olivia.  There, just outside the concession area and next to the hallway leading to the visiting team’s dressing room, stood Olivia talking with the night’s leading scorer.  I felt a punch in the pit of my stomach.  Was he already wooing Olivia into the back seat of his car?  I decided, someway I had to warn her, to talk some sense into her.  Could she be so naive to think that Jesus would protect her from making the worst decision of her life?

I dropped Ryan off at his house, drove home, and spent the rest of the night tossing and turning.  I wanted with all my heart to be Olivia’s one and only boyfriend, but as I finally dosed off right before dawn, I felt like I was just a father-figure to her.  She had never and would never see me as her once in life love.

The primary aim of the "Novel Excerpts" blog category is to showcase my creative writing, specifically from the novels I've written. Hopefully, these posts will provide a glimpse into my storytelling style, themes, and narrative skills. It's an opportunity to share my artistic expressions and the worlds I've created through my novels.

The Boaz Secrets, written in 2018, is my third novel. I'll post a chapter a day over the next few weeks.

Book Blurb

Fifteen year-old Matt Benson moves with Robert, his widowed father, to Boaz, Alabama for one year as Robert conducts research on Southern Baptist Fundamentalism.  Robert, a professor of Bible History and new Testament Theology at the University of Chicago’s Divinity School enlists Matt to assist him as an undercover agent at First Baptist Church of Christ.  Matt’s job is to befriend the most active young person in the Church’s youth group and learn the heart and mind of teenagers growing up as fundamentalist Southern Baptists.

Olivia Tillman is the fourteen year old daughter of Betty and Walter Tillman.  He is the pastor of First Baptist Church of Christ.  Robert and Matt move to Boaz in June 1970, and before high school begins in mid-August, Matt and Olivia become fast friends.   Olivia’s life is centered around her faith, her family, and her friends.  She is struck with Matt and his doubts and vows to win him to Christ.  Over the next year, Matt and Olivia’s relationship blossoms into more than a teenage romance, despite their different religious beliefs. 

June 1971 and Matt’s return to Chicago comes too quickly, but the two teenagers vow to never lose what they have, even promising to reunite at college in three years after Olivia graduates from Boaz High School.

The Boaz Secrets is told from the perspective of past and present.  The story alternates between 1970-1971, and 2017-2018.  After Matt left Boaz in June 1971, life happened and Olivia and Matt’s plans fell apart.  However, in December 2017, their lives crossed again, almost miraculously, and they have a month in Boaz to catch up on forty-six years of being apart.  They attempt to discover whether their teenage love can be rekindled and transformed into an adult romance even though Matt is 63 and Olivia is 61.

In 2017, Olivia and Matt are quick to learn they are vastly different people than they were as fifteen and sixteen year old teenagers– especially, when it comes to religion and faith.  Will these religious differences unite them?  The real issue is the secret Olivia has kept.  Will Matt’s discovery destroy any chance he and Olivia have of rekindling their teenage relationship?

Chapter 20

December 20, 2017

The next morning John and Paul and I had ridden in my car the four miles back to the Appalachian trail and alternated hiking north and south, thirty minutes in one direction and then an hour in the opposite.  No Eagle Scout would dare call it hiking.  John and Paul didn’t either, but by late afternoon, we all agreed that we would be faithful to continue to grow our relationship.  At one-point John suggested that Olivia and I should get married and finally complete our family.  By the time I dropped them back off at The Martyn House B & B, all I could think about was, ‘what if Olivia and I gave it our best try?’  John and Paul and I once again shared man-hugs, this time allowing our real emotions to shine through.  Tears were gleaming in each of our eyes as I drove away.

During my long drive back to Boaz I reminisced every conversation we had out on the Trail.  The one that played over and over in my mind concerned John and Paul’s adoptive parents.  The story was that Bret and Stacy Thompson of San Marcos, Texas had adopted the two boys as three-day old infants.  All their lives, until the discovery of their mother’s letter after she passed away, the brothers had thought they had been born in Nashville, Tennessee.  That’s what they had been told and their birth certificates had indicated the same.  When the twins were two, Bret and Stacy divorced.  At first, the couple were faithful to follow the custody agreement, each parent would have physical custody of both boys for one month at a time.  This had worked well until Stacy moved to Phoenix, Arizona.  Ultimately, the parents, tired and frustrated over the seeming deterioration in John and Paul’s mental health, decided to split custody.  With the flip of a coin John stayed with Bret, while Paul went to live in Arizona with Stacy.  The part that had interested me the most was that Paul was raised Christian, in a Baptist church and by a mother who was as fundamentalist as any Southern Baptist from Alabama.  Even though John remembered occasionally going to church, his father hadn’t attempted to influence his religious beliefs.  Clearly, John’s secular and Paul’s religious upbringings had influenced their current beliefs and philosophies.

My return from Ellijay, Georgia was two days ago, and I still didn’t have the results of the DNA test from the samples I had sent to my lab in Chicago.  For some reason I had forgotten it was the end of the year and the State of Illinois Department of Forensic Sciences was in town conducting its annual audit.  I was fortunate that Jerry Coyne, the imminent evolutionary geneticist, was also in town over the holidays and was bored from the lack of students during the semester break.  Last night he had told me that “the bureaucrats were finishing up this morning.  I will conduct the test tomorrow afternoon.  I’ll email you the results.  Keep in mind the results will be correct, but you’ll need an independent lab to verify if you ever want to use the findings publicly.”

I woke up this morning almost giddy over seeing Olivia.  We had talked a dozen times since I got back into town.  Her and Randi Radford had decided, spur of the moment, after I left for Ellijay, to take a trip to Gulf Shores.  I should have seen her late yesterday afternoon but at the last moment, Randi had suggested they stop in Montgomery and visit with one of her college roommates.  The intended two-hour visit had transformed into an overnight stay.  This morning, I was acting like a teenage boy anticipating his first date.  At 11:00 my cell phone rang.  It was the woman, the beautiful woman, John and Paul wanted me to marry.  It would take very little to persuade me to follow that road.  I wondered what Olivia would think.

“Hey good-looking.  I’m ready to see you.”  So far Olivia was falling into the correct character.  “If you’re free why don’t you come over.  I’ve got the whole house to myself.  Randi dropped me off and I found a note from Warren that he farmed out the kids and took Tiffany to Gatlinburg for a few days.”

“Sorry, I’m very busy.  I have to make up my bed and polish the furniture.”  I said, always trying to improve my humor.

At first it seemed Olivia thought I was serious.  So much for my humor.  “Okay, maybe later?”

“No silly, I can come right now if that works for you.”

“It does.  I really want to see you.  Come on over.”  Olivia said, more eager than I could remember her, other than maybe half a century ago.

She met me outside on the front porch, even though it was cold.  But, it wasn’t windy.  I hadn’t worn my jacket.

“I like your sweater.  You were always a sweater guy.  I think they make you look sophisticated.”  Olivia said hugging me, taking my hand, and pulling me inside the house.

“I’ve always been extremely sophisticated.  So much so that I won your heart back in my prime.”  I needed to think before I spoke.  That statement seemed arrogant, certainly a put-off.

“Let’s go down in the basement.  I love Warren’s man-cave.  Hey, what does that tell you about me?  Am I transgenderizing?”  Olivia said with an aloofness unlike anything I had seen since reconnecting with her as an adult.

“I hope not.  Is that even a word?”

“Seriously, I want to show you what I found.  You know, obviously, that I grew up in this house.  I’ll show you my room later.  I’m still astounded that Mom and Dad left my room intact.  There is a closet in the basement where Dad kept his music collection.  You might not remember but he loved to listen to tapes on his eight-track player.  Everything is still there.  Warren upgraded the entire basement but left that closet like a shrine.”

“Man, that brings back memories.  I bet you’ve forgotten but I just remembered the night before I was to present my first semester research paper to Dr. Ayers.”

“Mr. Matt, you are not the only one with a memory.  By the way, don’t let me forget to tell you someday about my own presentation to her during my eleventh-grade year.  Of course, you were not around.  You were sophisticated in Chicago.”

“Funny.  Okay, put up or shut up.  What do you remember about that night?”  I said wanting to probe into Olivia’s past, not about my Biology class project but hoping she might say something relevant about John Ericson.  I was reaching.

“You don’t believe me, do you?  I’ll show you.  Noah’s Ark.  Your silly little piece of fiction, at least that’s what I thought at the time, was all about proving that Mr. Noah’s story could not be true.  You did, I bet with the help of your dear father, a credible job of showing how it would have been impossible to put two of every species on the 400-foot wooden boat.  I remember you saying that there were, in 1970, more than thirty million species and at a minimum there would have been several million back four thousand years ago.”

“That’s crazy, isn’t it?  To think, the earth, the universe, is less than ten thousand years old.”  I interrupted.

“I think most Christian Fundamentalists believe the earth is only about 6,000 years old.  They claim to prove this with the Bible itself, including its many genealogies.”  Olivia said.

I was proud of Olivia for breaking free from her many years of entrapment in the biggest myth ever.  I knew that it was almost impossible for someone brought up as the daughter of a Southern Baptist Fundamentalist pastor to overcome a lifetime of persistent brainwashing.  “The key to evolution is time, a very long time.  There simply wasn’t enough time in four thousand years for millions of new species to evolve.”  I said.

“I don’t recall you mentioning a ton of other facts that destroyed the Noah’s Ark story.”  Olivia said looking through records and tapes in Pastor Walter’s music collection.

“You forget it was a Biology paper.  I had to stay in a narrow lane.  I would have loved to include geographic, geological, and a ton of other arguments that clearly placed the little story solidly on the fiction shelf.”  Just as I was about to ask her how on earth Christians could believe such nonsense, she screamed. 

“Matt, look here.  It’s Bobby Vinton.”

“Who?”  I clearly remembered but wanted to see Olivia’s reaction.

“The song, “You Are My Special Angel,” you’ve forgotten.  I can’t believe you don’t remember.  That night, after you rehearsed your oral presentation, Dad let us stay downstairs and listen to some music.  It became our favorite.  We danced.  I am so disappointed you have forgotten.”  Olivia looked at me as though I had killed her puppy.

“I’m kidding.  No way I’ve forgotten that song or that first night we listened to it.  I would have to have lost my emotional mind to not remember how close we were.  Or, how close I thought we were.”

“Let’s see if it will play.  I bet it’s too old.”  Olivia said trying to figure out how to operate the old eight-track player.  Oh good, it powers up.”

A few seconds later, I instantly traveled back over forty-six years:

You are my special angel

Sent from up above

The Lord smiled down on me

And sent an angel to love (to love). 

Olivia walked over to me as the song continued to play.  It was as though we had rehearsed our next actions a thousand times.  We both reached for the other at the exact same time.  She pulled me in as I did her.  For a minute she just lay her head on my shoulder as the song continued.  We swayed and listened:

You are my special angel

Right from paradise

I know you’re an angel

Heaven is in your eyes

The smile from your lips brings the summer sunshine

Tears from your eyes bring the rain

I feel your touch, your warm embrace

And I’m in heaven again

You are my special angel

Through eternity

I’ll have my special angel

Here to watch over me

I feel your touch, your warm embrace

And I’m in heaven again

You are my special angel

Through eternity

I’ll have my special angel

Here to watch over me (watch over me)

Here to watch over me

(Angel, angel, whoa-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh oh, oh).

As the song ended we stood still and she looked up at me, pulling back just slightly. “Matt, I have never stopped loving you.  Is that too hard to believe?”

“No.  Not at all.  Seeing you here in Boaz has brought back thoughts and feelings that I have long tried to bury.  To be totally honest, I never got over you.  It’s like I had to put you in a bottle and place you on a shelf high up in my mind, one that was virtually impossible to reach.”  I said, anticipating the truth I would learn in a few hours when Jerry emailed me the results of his DNA analysis, but being overwhelmed with an extra important truth, my feelings and continued love for Olivia.

Then it happened.  As things like this seem nearly impossible when I recalled my teenage years when sitting by myself contemplating how on earth I could find just the right time to kiss Olivia the first time.  How to do it?  When to do it?  I had a thousand questions.  But now, it was as natural as breathing.  It was impossible to discern who made the first slight move.  Our lips touched.  The smell of Olivia, just salty enough to spice my life forever.  Just sweet enough to keep me sane and wanting more.  One kiss led to another.  She interrupted our embrace long enough to restart old Bobby and his angel song.

Two additional replays along with more intense kissing accentuated with four hands that began to explore, ended with Olivia whispering, “do you want to go see my room?”

“I thought you would never ask.”  I said exchanging looks of eager submission.

It was two hours later before we made the opportunity for Olivia to show me her doll collection.  In the interim, we had shed our clothes and made love.  It was like our bodies were let out of a cage, one we had been locked in for a million years.  We were free.  Our bodies needed to move.  And, they did.  Not always vigorously, but enough to make me realize I was much older than that first time nearly half-a-century ago.  At first, I was surprisingly strong and enduring, but after our second attempt, I finally realized our activities were simply too much for my 63-year-old body.  According to a few words exchanged during our intimacy, I realized that, like me, Olivia, had traveled back in time to the night before Dad and I left to return to Chicago.  It was, in many ways, our first time all over again.  No weeks, months, or years had intervened.  We were both virgins, or so I thought at the time, in love, committing our lives to each other for an eternity. 

Later, after a trip to Waffle House for a breakfast supper, and watching The Best of Me movie, we slept and fooled around some more, curled up in the basement on Warren’s huge leather couch in front of his seventy-two-inch TV.

.

The primary aim of the "Novel Excerpts" blog category is to showcase my creative writing, specifically from the novels I've written. Hopefully, these posts will provide a glimpse into my storytelling style, themes, and narrative skills. It's an opportunity to share my artistic expressions and the worlds I've created through my novels.

The Boaz Secrets, written in 2018, is my third novel. I'll post a chapter a day over the next few weeks.

Book Blurb

Fifteen year-old Matt Benson moves with Robert, his widowed father, to Boaz, Alabama for one year as Robert conducts research on Southern Baptist Fundamentalism.  Robert, a professor of Bible History and new Testament Theology at the University of Chicago’s Divinity School enlists Matt to assist him as an undercover agent at First Baptist Church of Christ.  Matt’s job is to befriend the most active young person in the Church’s youth group and learn the heart and mind of teenagers growing up as fundamentalist Southern Baptists.

Olivia Tillman is the fourteen year old daughter of Betty and Walter Tillman.  He is the pastor of First Baptist Church of Christ.  Robert and Matt move to Boaz in June 1970, and before high school begins in mid-August, Matt and Olivia become fast friends.   Olivia’s life is centered around her faith, her family, and her friends.  She is struck with Matt and his doubts and vows to win him to Christ.  Over the next year, Matt and Olivia’s relationship blossoms into more than a teenage romance, despite their different religious beliefs. 

June 1971 and Matt’s return to Chicago comes too quickly, but the two teenagers vow to never lose what they have, even promising to reunite at college in three years after Olivia graduates from Boaz High School.

The Boaz Secrets is told from the perspective of past and present.  The story alternates between 1970-1971, and 2017-2018.  After Matt left Boaz in June 1971, life happened and Olivia and Matt’s plans fell apart.  However, in December 2017, their lives crossed again, almost miraculously, and they have a month in Boaz to catch up on forty-six years of being apart.  They attempt to discover whether their teenage love can be rekindled and transformed into an adult romance even though Matt is 63 and Olivia is 61.

In 2017, Olivia and Matt are quick to learn they are vastly different people than they were as fifteen and sixteen year old teenagers– especially, when it comes to religion and faith.  Will these religious differences unite them?  The real issue is the secret Olivia has kept.  Will Matt’s discovery destroy any chance he and Olivia have of rekindling their teenage relationship?

Chapter 19

February 1971

I had never changed my clothes, brushed my teeth, combed my hair, and walked five blocks so fast in all my life.  Betty, Mrs. Tillman, opened the front door before the doorbell’s tune ended.  “She’s in the living room.  Thanks for coming Matt, she really needs a shoulder to cry on.  Go on in and I’ll check on you in a few minutes.”  Olivia’s mother turned and walked away, and I figured her last statement was her subtle way of telling me, ‘Oh boy, I’m watching you every second, don’t you dare try to get fresh with my little girl.’

I almost tip-toed over to the large archway that led into the living room.  Olivia wasn’t there.  She must have gone to the bathroom or something.  “Matt, come on in.”  Just for two seconds my mind played one of its jokes on me.  I thought Olivia was invisible.  She was now an angel.  She was here, I could hear her voice, but I couldn’t see her.  The punch line was wordless.  Olivia set up from the couch that backed toward the archway.  She had simply been laying down when I walked in and she had made her statement.

Olivia got up and ran over to me and surprisingly put both arms around my waist and pulled me close.  She started to cry but whispered, “hold me Matt.  I need you to hold me.”  I didn’t resist.  Was this Heaven or what?  I’m glad no one else was there to witness my awkwardness.  My arms seemed unnatural, overlapping hers.  I was glad she resolved my problem by withdrawing her arms and moving them up around my neck.  My arms then felt just right around her waist.  She buried her head into my neck.  I couldn’t help but catch the smell of a fragrance I have never forgotten.  I really don’t think it was perfume.  It was just Olivia.  She was an angel.  She wasn’t quite human.  She was my goddess.  I began to worry Olivia’s mother would return and see me so close to her daughter.  She might scream or look for a gun.  My mind alternated between dread and evaluation.  The later activity was more enjoyable.  With my hands connected behind Olivia’s back I could feel her shape.  My mind flashed back to her cheerleader tryout.  I was feeling one of the curves that I had seen from a distance.  Not since that day had I realized how wonderfully shapely Olivia was.  I was just turning my attention to what I was experiencing with my chest, nestled only a hair’s width from Olivia’s already well-developed bosom when I heard a man’s voice, “Olivia, why don’t you and Matt sit down.  You are probably too weak for any activity.”  I thought it was an odd statement but then I heard a burst of laughter.  I turned, and it was Wade imitating his father.  And, doing a darn good job at that.

I immediately released Olivia and stepped to the side as Wade walked over and embraced Olivia.  During the next few minutes I gathered that he had spent the night at Club Eden with the other four members of the Flaming Five.  He had not heard about the car accident until a few minutes earlier when he arrived.  My thoughts seemed to always come unprepared, like I don’t have much control over a lot of them.  I kept thinking, ‘Wade, why were you not at church this morning?  Did Pastor Tillman approve, or does he pretty much let you do what you want?’  It was a strange and virtually irrelevant question.

Wade left, and Olivia and I sat down.  She sat on the couch and I chose a wingback chair near one end of the huge coffee table.  “Sit by me.  I need you close.”  Olivia was unlike any time I had ever seen her.  Again, I didn’t resist.  As soon as I sat down she took my right hand in her left and placed her right hand on my knee.  “Matt, I don’t know if Kyle and Kent were Christians.  I told you about Tina being saved just last week.  I’m not worried about Brenda.  She was committed to Jesus, active at Second Baptist Church in their choir and youth group.  As far as I know neither Kyle or Kent went to church.  I failed them.  Kent was in my class, had been all my life.  God is showing me that I have to care about all those around me.”  As I sat and listened to Olivia make this somewhat disjointed statement, it was clear what was coming.

“Matt, please.  Let’s talk about you.  It’s been a while since I asked you to accept Jesus as your savior.  I’m not your judge but it seems like if you had changed your mind and given your heart to Him that you would have told me.”

“Olivia, first let me say, and this isn’t like me at all.  Ever since I first met you I have been a different person.  I’ve never liked a girl so much in my life.  I’m very torn because I want to please you.  I know it is selfish of me to say but I have been tempted to fake a relationship with Jesus just to try and win you over.”

“Matt, in a way that touches my heart, makes me all giddy to think you care that much for me.  Right now, right here and now, forget about me.  Why can’t I persuade you to get serious about your life and where you will spend all of eternity?”  Olivia said reaching up with her right hand and pulling my face more towards hers.  I wanted to kiss her but didn’t think it was the right moment.

“Sweet Olivia, know I am being serious.  Double know that I would eagerly accept Jesus as Lord of my life if I didn’t know what I know, if you could just give me a little evidence.”   I really didn’t want to talk about Jesus.  I wanted to get back to consoling Olivia.  Surely, she wasn’t fully consoled.  Yet.

“Matt, you keep trying to figure God out.  You think He is like you and me.  He’s not, He’s God.  His ways are not our ways.”

“That’s what I keep hearing.  I also hear that He is all loving and all powerful and all present.”  I said hoping to persuade Olivia that she needed to talk about Kyle and Kent, and Tina and Brenda.

“You are correct.  My God is these things.”  Olivia replied pulling her hand away from my leg.  She set up straighter as though she was trying to show me how confident she was in what she was saying.

“Olivia, how does a loving God, one that loves His children beyond what the most perfect parents could do, why does this God allow such pain, heartache, and suffering?”  I had thought about this type question many times.  The only answer I had ever come up with, actually I borrowed it from a book I had read, was that either God was incapable of preventing horrible car wrecks where teenagers died a violent death, or he flat out didn’t care.”

“Matt, I’ll let you in on a little secret.  Your question gives me more trouble than anything I’ve ever encountered when it comes to God.  I’ve talked with Dad about this several times.  He says that ‘because of the Fall, you know, the sins of Adam and Eve, we live in a sinful world. Bad things happen.  When God created humankind, he gave us freewill.  We are free to make choices.’  I guess we have the perfect example right before us.  Kyle chose to drink beer and drive.  God didn’t stop Him.  I must let my faith take over.  I must not try to figure God out.  I must trust God that He has a plan, and it is all good.  God loved us enough to let us choose wrong, to reject Him.  But, I must admit, at times, like right now, Dad’s answers are not very satisfying.”  I could tell Olivia was troubled.  I sensed I was seeing Olivia at a very vulnerable moment.  She was showing me her human side.

“I know reason, our use of reason is of the devil, from what I keep hearing, but I believe it is the most important resource we have to live our lives.  We couldn’t survive without exercising our reason.  You use yours every day.  You wait on a car before crossing the street. You naturally used your reasoning ability to conclude that it would be unsafe to attempt to walk to the other side, the car is coming too fast.”

“I cannot argue against that.”  Olivia said putting her hand back on my leg next to my knee.

“Olivia, I learned a long time ago, from Dad, that religion was part of life and that it was okay, actually, it was imperative, that I utilize my reasoning ability when considering religious claims.  That’s what I do and that’s why I don’t believe in God.  Consider this, if God is all knowing and all powerful, he knows everything that is going to happen.  That means, in a real sense, everything is predetermined.  At least from God’s standpoint.  If that is so, then He does not have the power to change His mind and to cause something different to happen.  So, he is not omnipotent.”

It was weird timing but right as I completed my statement my left leg got a cramp.  I couldn’t stay seated.  I immediately regretted being so lax about my running routine.  I think Olivia thought I was about to have a seizure or something.   I hobbled around, stopped, jumped, rubbed the back of my leg.  The pain subsided within a few seconds.

“Cool move Matt, but as I’ve told you a dozen times.  I will never give up on you.  I intend to win your heart to God.”  Olivia said.  She didn’t realize that she had already won my heart.

I was still standing when Mrs. Tillman came in with a tray of cookies and some lemonade.  “Matt, help me convince Olivia that she needs to eat something.  I know sweets are not what she needs but it beats nothing.”

For the next thirty minutes Olivia laughed like she didn’t have a care in the world.  I sat back down beside her and fed her cookies.  She even let me hold her glass up to her lips.  I played airplane with the cookies and she relaxed.  So much that she joined me.  After she dropped a cookie on the floor and sat up on the edge of the couch to reach for it, she picked it up and blew on it as though cleaning off some dirt or dust.  She then turned to me with the chocolate chip cookie.  “This little cookie lost its way.”  She lifted her arm high and then slowly hummed her best airplane gliding sound as she gently landed the cookie on my lips.  She then urged me to chew and swallow, making me take two sips of my lemonade.  When I stopped chewing she leaned towards me, put her left elbow on the couch and with her right hand pulled my face towards hers.

The kiss didn’t last near long enough, but it was anything but a quick little peck on my lips.  The two of us were obviously new to this activity.  We both turned our heads, leaned our heads, the opposite of what we should.  We both giggled but she kept steady with her attempt to reach my lips.  I will never forget our first kiss.  It was real intimacy.  I could have lived in that moment forever.

It probably was over in less than a minute.  She turned and sat back beside me.  Neither one of us said a word for minutes.  But, we did hold hands.  I thought a lot during that time.  My mind raced from ‘I wonder when we will kiss again?’ to ‘this doesn’t mean what I hope it does.  Olivia is not in her right mind, having suffered such a traumatic event.’  One thing I knew as Pastor Tillman came in and told Olivia that it was time for her to get ready for church, I no longer needed to concern myself with whether Heaven was real.  I now knew it was real.  I had been there, and I would forever long to return.