God and Girl is my first novel, written in 2015. I'll post it, a chapter a day, over the next few weeks.
It was Sunday afternoon on a walk with Mom around our neighborhood that the subject came back up.
“Honey, I’ve thought nonstop about our conversation yesterday and your final statement. First, I want you to know that I am not going to tell your dad right now. But, I cannot promise that I will never tell him. Again, you must trust my judgment. And, as always, I appreciate your trust.
“I don’t know much at all about homosexuality, but I bet it is a complex subject. You said that you were in love with Ellen, so I am assuming you believe or know that you are gay. Am I correct?” Mom said.
“Yes, I have felt different for a long time. I don’t know much about what it means to be gay either, but I know two things. One, I am struggling over this from the standpoint of how it affects my faith, or how it reveals my lack of faith, and secondly, I know I care very, very much for Ellen. I know I have never felt this way about anyone, most especially a boy, but no other girl either.”
“We could talk about this forever and I doubt I could change your mind. I know that if I had spoken to someone about John and me when I fell in love with him that it basically would have been a waste of time. My youth and my emotions would have squelched any rationality that I tried to muster. And, I strongly suspect that it will be the same with you. Even if I locked you in a cage for the next five years it probably wouldn’t help anything.
“Why don’t we do this. You fully commit to seeking the truth and wisdom, and I will be available anytime and anywhere for you. I know it must be hard talking to your mother about such sensitive subjects, but I believe you do, in large part, because of how we have always been.” Mom said.
“I agree totally with what you are saying. Mom, I do want to do the right thing. But, please know that walking with you now, right here, I know my heart. I know I have such genuine feelings for Ellen. And, I believe she feels the same for me. Thanks for trusting me and always being here for me.”
We arrived home a few minutes later in time to eat a snack and get ready for church.
The next week went by rather slowly while the routine of ninth grade started to fall into place. I was particularly enjoying Biology and Poetry. Friday came, and Ellen and I had again not completed our team assignment in Biology. Just like last week we would have to finish it after school and tonight up until midnight, our deadline. Mom simply said “Okay” when I told her, very humbly, that I would be staying over at Ellen’s tonight. She then gave me permission to spend Saturday with Ellen, in part I suspect because her mom had asked me to.
After school, I caught a ride home with Jacob, packed a few things in a backpack, and rode my bike to Ellen’s.
We worked surprisingly focused on our paper. Again, we finished just in time to submit it before midnight. We have got to quit doing this. We are cutting this way too close.
“How about a swim?” Ellen said.
“Where?”
“In our pool goofball.”
“I didn’t know you had a pool.” I said.
“It’s indoors, downstairs, and it’s heated. Not that we need that much heat. I mean it is still warm weather.” Ellen said.
“Sounds good, and you’re right. The water could be freezing cold but go to boiling soon after we both jumped in. Ha. Ha.”
“Here is a bathing suit I bet will fit you perfectly.” Ellen said.
“I’ve never worn a two-piece before. And, you are a lot more bosomy than me.”
“Don’t worry. It is a couple of years old. Back when I was a little flatter like you. No disrespect intended.” Ellen said.
“None taken. Hand it here.” I said heading for her bathroom to change.
The water was a little cool when I first jumped in, but that changed quickly. I had wanted to tip-toe in from the steps at the shallow end, but Ellen would have no part of it. She grabbed my hand and pulled me down to the deep end and kept our hands together all the way to the bottom. The pool was well-lit, and I opened my eyes after my foot touched the bottom. Ellen’s face was nearly next to mine and she let go my hand and pulled me close to her with her hands on my lower back. She attempted a kiss, but I was needing air, so I torpedoed upward.
“Sorry, if I was too forward.” Ellen said as we both swam to poolside.
“Don’t say that. My lungs were respectfully calling for air, but not far away from an all-out scream. I hope you know that I am always open to your forwardness.” I said.
“Let me ask you something. Do you think we are taking things a little too fast?” Ellen said.
“Okay, you asked, and you should recall that we have already fully committed to each other to be totally honest at all times. You do remember our agreement, don’t you?” I asked.
“Of course, I do.” Ellen said.
“Well, in a sense I do think this is all happening at light speed. I am okay with it because it is so wonderful. I have never had feelings like this before. So, all of this is brand new to me. Here is the rest of my answer to your question. I am struggling with my faith. Of course, this is because I have always been taught that homosexuality was a sin and that marriage, I know we are not married, but we are a couple, that marriage was between a man and a woman. I hope you are not mad at me for having this struggle.” I said as we each climbed the ladder out of the pool, grabbed towels, and sat in two lounge chairs.
“Actually, I feel better. If you were not struggling then I would think that you were shallow and that your life before me, that is, your life in church, in both home and church with your Dad as pastor, would just have been a joke, a sham.” Ellen said.
“I’m very thankful you are this open-minded. I am committed to finding the truth about life, my truth. I am open to finding out things that I do not now know. I want and need your help on this journey. I guess this is going to be a part of our journey to love.
“I am here to help anyway I can. I’m not going anywhere my dear. Now, come on, let’s swim some laps.” Ellen said.
We jumped in again and spent the next thirty minutes racing lengthwise across the pool, and diving for quarters and then treading water in the deep end. During our treading, we often touched hands, fingertips, and finally embraced and sank to the bottom holding each other, nuzzling kisses until our breath ran out. Exhausted, we grabbed our towels and headed for the kitchen. We were famished, having skipped supper to work on our paper.
After devouring a large pizza, albeit reheated, we returned to Ellen’s room. She opened Pandora on her iPad and activated her Adele station.
“I love Adele and her song “Set Fire to The Rain.” The first two stanzas so beautifully capture how I feel about you. Listen carefully.” Ellen said.
“I let it fall, my heart
And as it fell, you rose to claim it
It was dark, and I was over
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me.
My hands, they’re strong
But my knees were far too weak
To stand in your arms
Without falling to your feet.”
“Awesome, totally awesome.” I said.
“Now, just listen to the music and the beating of my heart,” Ellen said as she stepped closer to me and pulled me into her body. We slow danced for what seemed like an hour, letting the music station play songs as it wished. It seemed every song was specially selected for our dance.
We couldn’t keep our eyes off each other. Since the first time I saw Ellen her blue eyes mesmerized me—even from a distance. But now, as our bodies were pressing each other, her eyes seemed to be singing softly that her heart was pure and that I could give my all to her and not worry that she would break my heart and ruin my life.
Now, her lips were on mine and my body was tingling as I felt her undoing my bikini top—having totally forgotten we both were still wearing our swim suits. I didn’t resist, and I didn’t resist as she, with both hands, removed my bikini bottom. She motioned me to her bed, removed her swimsuit, took my hand and sweetly, gently pulled me beside her to lay with her, body to body.
We kissed, and laughed, and talked, and touched for hours, or so it seemed, finally dozing off as the sun danced around her half-open blinds. Around noon, we were awakened by her mom knocking on Ellen’s door asking if we would like breakfast.
After breakfast, we played a game of tennis. I also didn’t know until today that the Ayers’ had a tennis court. We both kind of sucked at tennis so we sat with our bottled water in nice soft chairs at a table at a very private patio outside the basement and the indoor swimming pool.
“Australopithecus afarensis.” Ellen said as we took our chairs.
“What? What language are you speaking? Is that a love song you want me to learn?” I said.
“Well, not exactly, but I guess you could say it is about love. I’m speaking of human evolution. And, come to think of it, we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for evolution. Australopithecus Afarensis is a species of human. Well, maybe not human, but somewhat like human. Lucy is the easy, short name, personal name, given to a skeleton found in 1974, a female. Why am I bringing this up?” Ellen said.
“I was wondering the same thing.”
“You said last night that you were looking for truth. For some reason, your words have been tossing and turning around in my head ever since we tried to volley the tennis ball back and forth over the net. In our Biology book, Why Evolution is True, there is a chapter on human evolution. Of course, it is way towards the back of the book and we haven’t gotten close to that, but we will. Ruthie, my dear, I firmly believe that you and I, and all other humans, also known as homo sapiens, descended from a common ancestor of chimps. Millions of years ago chimps and one of our forebears—not like us in so many ways—started their own branches on our family tree. Scientists believe that Lucy, that is, her species, came about early on after the branching, again, from that common ancestor we share with chimps. Lucy, that is Lucy’s fossils, shows that she had characteristics both apelike and human-like.” Ellen said.
“You know this is totally unlike what I was raised to believe. I was taught that God created the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, and that took place less than 10,000 years ago, and that all humans are descended from them. Adam and Eve were perfect to begin with, but they sinned at some early point after they were created. That sin is referred to as The Fall, or Original Sin, and that all men were born sinners as a result. That years and years later God sent His Only Son, Jesus, as an atonement for all sins, to die on a cross.” I said.
“I know, my dearest Ruthie. I know what you believe. And, you need to know that I don’t believe in your creation story. I believe in evolution. But, I hope, and as you say, I pray, these two very opposing beliefs won’t hurt us, won’t keep us apart. Ruthie, I have fallen in love with you and never want to be separated from your seriously sexy smile.” Ellen said with a sheepish grin.
“Ellen, it means the world to me that you have been willing to be so open, to share your heart. I too want nothing more than to be with you and love you. You do know that I am in love with you?” I said.
“I do. I know this now more than ever, especially after our sweet time last night and our honest disclosures here today.” Ellen said.
The Pencil-Driven Life 