Welcome back to The Pencil’s Edge.
Every great story moves—not just in plot, but within the scenes themselves. Motion breathes life into characters, making their emotions tangible and their conversations dynamic. Without movement, even the best dialogue can feel static and lifeless.
In today’s post, we’re exploring Characters in Motion, a Fictionary Story Element that helps writers ensure their characters are engaging not just through words, but through actions.
Why Is This Element Important?
A scene may feel flat if the characters aren’t physically moving. Two people sitting and talking, even with great dialogue, lacks the energy of a scene where body language, small actions, and setting interactions enhance the conversation.
Consider how motion can influence storytelling:
✔ Adds Tension – If one character is distracted, pacing, or fidgeting, it can heighten tension.
✔ Reveals Emotion – Instead of saying, “I’m angry,” a character can slam a glass onto a table.
✔ Enhances Personality – How a character moves reveals who they are—graceful, clumsy, anxious, confident.
✔ Engages the Reader – Action breaks up dialogue, preventing long blocks of talking heads.
If the Characters in Motion element is set to “No” in too many scenes, it may indicate a lack of energy, tension, or depth.
Using This Story Element
When analyzing a scene, ask:
- Are the characters actively engaging with their surroundings?
- Does motion enhance the dialogue or tension?
- Is movement showing instead of telling emotions?
💡 Pro Tip: If the characters are sitting and talking for too long, add movement to highlight their mood or relationships.
For example:
🚶♂️ Building Tension – A detective interrogating a suspect doesn’t just sit still. He leans forward, taps his fingers, stands abruptly, or paces to unnerve the suspect.
🎭 Revealing Personality – A nervous character may fidget with their sleeves, avoid eye contact, or bite their lip, while a confident one may stand tall and gesture boldly.
😠 Creating Conflict – Instead of saying, “Stop ignoring me!” a frustrated character might slam a door, knock over a chair, or throw a book to demand attention.
When to Give Advice
As an editor (or self-editor), use the Story Map to track motion in scenes. Here’s when to step in:
1. Characters Are Too Still
- If too many scenes have “No” marked for Characters in Motion, the story may feel static.
- Suggest adding physical movement to enrich the scene.
2. Dialogue Feels Stagnant
- If characters talk without movement, dialogue can become monotonous.
- Recommend subtle actions (sipping coffee, folding laundry, fixing a watch) to add texture.
3. Missed Opportunities for Tension
- If a scene has emotional weight, but characters aren’t physically reacting, tension diminishes.
- Suggest actions that intensify emotions (clenched fists, pacing, sudden stillness before an outburst).
Advice for Writers
When revising your manuscript, look at scenes where characters aren’t moving. Ask:
✔ How can I add physical movement to reflect their emotions?
✔ Is the scene more engaging with motion, or is the stillness intentional?
✔ Does the motion add subtext to the conversation?
💡 Editor’s Tip: Use motion to add conflict—one character’s actions can frustrate, distract, or challenge another.
For example:
- A character trying to confess something urgent is ignored by someone checking their phone, tidying up, or walking away.
- A teacher scolding a student might drum their fingers on a desk while the student stares at their shoes, shifting from foot to foot.
Final Review: Is Your Story in Motion?
Check your Story Map to see which scenes lack movement. If too many are marked “No”, consider:
✔ Adding body language to enhance dialogue.
✔ Using motion to escalate conflict or tension.
✔ Rewriting static scenes to incorporate more dynamic actions.
By tracking Characters in Motion, you ensure that scenes feel real, immersive, and emotionally charged—keeping your readers hooked from start to finish.
🚀 Next Up: We’ll explore Scene Name and how naming scenes helps sharpen focus and clarity. Stay tuned!
The Pencil Driven Life 