God and Girl–Chapter 27

God and Girl is my first novel, written in 2015. I'll post it, a chapter a day, over the next few weeks.

Dad spent the next several days fielding calls from concerned church members and fellow pastors from around the southeast, most of whom he had met as part of the ‘Take a Stand’ program.  They all wanted to know what had changed, what beliefs had changed.

He told the truth.  He said he now believed that homosexuality was not necessarily a sin, that it depended on the circumstances.  That if two men or two women truly loved each other, and their sexuality was not based on lust, how could this be sin.  If two people were head over hills in love and their sexuality was simply an expression of the trueness and pureness of that love, then again, how could this be sin.  

Dad told the callers that the church doesn’t get bent out of shape over the lust that exist in the lives of many heterosexual married couples. Yet, these sins are known to exist, more likely, they are rampant in the lives of Christian couples.  Also, the church seems to look away from scripture when it concerns divorce and adultery.  

Dad explained that he believes the church’s stance against homosexuality is tearing the church apart.  Many members believe it is not a sin.  But, more importantly, the reason young people are either leaving the church or are totally uninterested in the church at all, is because the church is seen to them as ancient and bigoted, unwilling to acknowledge evolution and science discoveries over the past 150 years.  Young people are much more accepting of evolution and distrusting of the Bible as a historical document.  They are aware there is growing scientific evidence that homosexuality is genetic and not simply a choice, a sinful choice. They are not buying into the argument at all that being born black is totally different than being a homosexual.

Dad stressed that the church must stop ignoring evolutionary science and its impact upon the veracity of certain scripture if it wants to remain something more than a dying institution.  Dad pointed out that it is imperative that churches be more open about scripture and how they came to be, and not to be afraid of acknowledging known errors and being open to future, undiscovered errors.  Dad always was open about how the existence of God was not dependent on whether the Bible was literally true down to every word.

If the caller asked, Dad told them about his plans to start a new type of church.  He would always close his conversation by thanking the caller and by asking for their prayers.

I was proud Dad let me listen to a lot of these calls.  It truly encouraged me.

Dad’s decision to resign and his plan to start a new church greatly influenced my own recovery.

After Ellen died in mid-November last year, I was unable to return to school.  I had no interest whatsoever in life, especially not school life.

But, real interest in what Dad was doing with his new church, New Visions, was somehow triggered.  I don’t know for sure what caused it, but I started going with Dad to work.  He had lucked out (or something helped him) when he was contacted by Ann from the Guntersville ‘Take a Stand’ march.  She had heard of Dad’s decision and asked to be a part of the new church.  Her and Gina, Ann’s partner, encouraged and persuaded a lot of their friends and acquaintances to give New Visions a chance.

Dad, with me by his side, would do everything to get the word out.  We became very active on social media.  We did interviews with radio stations and newspapers.  Scott at WBSA was very helpful in the early days, having us back on his talk show at least three times.

There was never a time New Visions didn’t have at least a few people present at the Sunday morning service.  It did come close.  Those present during the first service were Ann and Gina and their friends Karen and Tina, and Mom, Jacob, Rachel, Dad and me.  Then, starting the second week, our numbers went up exponentially, well, to the 25person level.  Weeks and weeks kept coming and going but attendance also kept growing.

Also, when Fall came back around, when I should have been starting the eleventh grade, I started the tenth grade for the second time.  Mom, on a light note, told me that not many smart young girls like me get to start their 10th grade year all over again.  I told her that made me sad, but I appreciated her attempt to make me happy.

I was able to start and finish the tenth grade.  I graduated with only one B, and that was in Biology.  Two years later I graduated high school.  I was proud of that, even though I was a little sad not being able to graduate with my classmates that I had been with for over nine years.  School, high school, was very difficult because everywhere I went I saw Ellen.  And, seeing Dr. Ayers almost every day nearly made me call 911.  That wasn’t her intention of course but it simply took my mind back to Ellen and her house, thinking of spending so many hours together working on Biology team-assignments, swimming, dancing, loving and sleeping.  Someway I didn’t crash because I knew Ellen would want me to be strong and to be strong for her Mom.  In a weird sort of way, Ellen was with me every step of the way.

And I had New Visions to remind me that if it hadn’t been for Ellen, it wouldn’t even be a thought.  Dad would likely have never resigned.  Because he would have never learned firsthand what love looks like between two young ladies.  I thank Ellen every day that she loved me and was not afraid to let the world around her know that she loved me.  Her love was, in a sense, stronger than God, the church, the Bible, and all of Dad’s years of allegiance. The pull of Dad’s former Christianity anchored him down so solidly in waters, dark and deep, that had him blinded to the world around him, had him blinded to the love of God that was trying to turn the world upside down again, just like it had over 2,000 years ago.  

Thank you, Ellen, Dad, and New Visions.  You enabled me to get up and walk forward every day during my second attempt at 10th grade and throughout the remaining two years of high school.  I owe you for this.  But, I also feel I’m not ready to fly.