Southern Baptist Convention Votes to Oust All 47,000 of its member churches

Because every one of these churches allows and supports adultery.

Ninety percent of the 12,700 SBC delegates were heard chanting: “we must obey scripture.”

[Jesus] said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:11-12, NRSV)

“In a review of both religious and general population data, researchers concluded that divorce rates among Christians are similar to those of the general population, indicating that marital dissolution is not necessarily due to a particular faith commitment.” From Google search: comparison of rate of divorce between Christians and non-christians.

Conclusion: it’s reasonable to conclude every one of these 47,000 churches has at least one man or woman member who has committed adultery.

From the Baptist Faith and Message:

I. The Scriptures

The Holy Bible was written by men divinely inspired and is God’s revelation of Himself to man. It is a perfect treasure of divine instruction. It has God for its author, salvation for its end, and truth, without any mixture of error, for its matter. Therefore, all Scripture is totally true and trustworthy. It reveals the principles by which God judges us, and therefore is, and will remain to the end of the world, the true center of Christian union, and the supreme standard by which all human conduct, creeds, and religious opinions should be tried. All Scripture is a testimony to Christ, who is Himself the focus of divine revelation.


Disclaimer–This is satire; there was no such vote. But, it seems, there should have been based on the SBC’s scriptural premise of ousting churches with female pastors.

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Author: Richard L. Fricks

Richard L. Fricks is a novelist, former attorney and CPA, Fictionary Certified StoryCoach Editor, and creator of The Pencil-Driven Life. He lives in rural North Alabama near Boaz, where much of his fiction and reflection remain rooted. His work explores story, inherited purpose, faith and doubt, family pressure, moral contradiction, consciousness, ordinary life, and the practice of beginning again with a pencil.

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